I'm Polecat. This is my epic life.
 The autumn monsoons have begun. Raindrops keep falling' on the roof. We Wieners were not made for the wet weather. Do not criticize please. How would you feel if your belly dragged on the wet grass? It's ain't pretty people. And I wish you humans would quit criticizing us for trying to pee under the carport roof. Heck, it's the only place I can crouch without getting my privacy invaded by a shock of cold water. After a potty break outside it's the most wonderful thing get wrapped up in a soft cozy blanket and just soak up the joy of being a house pet..... Did somebody say "play ball"?
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 See that nose? I'm proud of that nose. I have a very keen sense of smell and the nose on that picture has been instrumental in the demise of many a pesky rodent. In fact, since this nose has been sniffing around my human's property there seems to be a definite decrease in the population of voles and mice.
If you would like to hear more about my nose, I have written a poem about it in my book. My book is called, "Wieners Are People Too". My book is full of my adventures. I meet cats and goats, go on motorcycle trips and you can even see me hunting. You can buy my book online at Amazon.ca or Chapters or just about any site that sells books. Today is Thanksgiving and I am very sad about some of the things I am thankful for. These are the things I am thankful for; a hot porch to lay on, voles and mice to hunt, no nail clipping because hunting keeps them trim, motorcycle rides and camping trips. So although I love love LOVE these things, I am also sad because soon my human will put away the Road Star and take out the snowshoes. Now I have to concentrate on growing a warmer coat. Sigh....  "Hey! Get BACK here! Don't turn your back on me. Anything could happen in this strange place far from home. I mean this isn't even Canada for Pete's sake!The gun laws are different! Hey, Come back here!"
 I bet you thought I was sleeping! Just so you know... I have very sensitive ears. I am aware of what is going on around me ALL the time. Yes, really. I might look like I am asleep but trust me, I .... and all others like me ... have super powers. We hear things that you humans are not even aware of. Sounds you haven't even thought of before. My ears tell me when I need to open my eyes. And I have my eyes on you, my human. If you think you are having a private moment, think again.  I am excited to announce that I am now able to read by myself! It wasn't easy but I have conquered the strong urge to taste my books. That is the most difficult thing about reading. Reading equals resisting. My human says she doesn't have that problem. She says her biggest problem is resisting the desire to squeeze me too hard because I am so soft and cozy.
 I learned how to read at a very early age. The tone of my human's voice often put me to sleep. I could tell that she was very interested in this form of entertainment. I would rather dig a hole but hey, sometimes I was not allowed outside. Especially by myself. If only she would let me TASTE the book. It might be more meaningful like that.
 At first she said, “Not in the bed”
And that , I thought, was tragic! But I would say, just give it a day So I could work my magic. She couldn’t resist my whimsical ways, My coat that hadn’t a flaw, And in a few hours I’d rendered my powers Winding her ‘round my paw.  "Ahem...." Wait wait wait.... "Umm...excuse me please. I see you are brushing your teeth. What flavour is your toothpaste? Mine is meat.....Really?....Do you have to take that long? I am trying to be patient, but....I think it's my turn now. Hurry up please. I only have so much patience and then. Grrrr!"
 Did you know that I like to Dig? Digging is my favourite pass time. Snow holes don't smell the same as dirt holes. Nothing can stop me from Digging. Not even snow. But wait... my human can end a good Dig. She just picks me up and holds me. She says my paws get too cold. I didn't notice. Then she wraps me up in her sweater and we sit by the fire. I complain a little bit because, hey! What is at the bottom of that hole? Will I ever find out?  |
AuthorI am Polecat's human. She has difficulty fully expressing herself without me. So I told her I would write and post photos for her. She wants you to know that she is a poet. ArchivesCategories |
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